Bittersweet

BITTER

This is the night when tradition meets need. Not desire-just a gnawing hunger that will not be denied any longer.

So let’s clear this bed of all the petals and the silly satin. What we satiate tonight is nothing sublime, nothing spiritual. Just a mind befuddling thirst.

Take off all the silk and gold-but put it away safely. We are in it for the long haul. Pickle it away for future needs.

Now…where were we? Ah yes! This cloying need to feel you against me-all over. just like we‘ve seen it done in movies.

Let’s make all the correct sounds and sighs and magnify the satisfaction felt by a few hundred degrees.

This is our first time!

Never thought it would be so…anticlimactic. But you are willing to wait and so am I. An entire lifetime of lying together- to each other with our entire being…

Wait-Till it is torn apart thread by worn out thread by the sheer mundane pace of everyday life.

When you are no longer my anyone-just another noise to be muted by silently doing our socially decreed duty to each other as lawfully wedded man and woman.

SWEET

This is the night when tradition ebbs and desires flow. Each sense floods the other’s domain and all divisions crumble.

All those days of waiting-of inquisitive fingers curling barely a second before they could touch you. Not tonight, not ever again.

So let’s clear this bed of flowers and the shimmering satin. Jasmine petals are rough, roses not crimson enough, dark chocolate on the bedside table-not rich enough- no, nothing compares to the texture of this touch.

Take off all this silk and gold – put away each trinket in slow, deliberate moves-all this, a slow sweet drawing out of these last few moments of waiting.

Remember my sweet, that moment earlier this evening, when so many reached out eagerly to wish us well? For a moment, I sagged, and the smile became fixed. An unnamed fear emptied my being of all sensation.

Then, you moved closer and entwined your fingers with mine – out of sight from all the flashing lights and smiles – hidden behind a wall of silk. A sharp intake of breath and then blood seemed to race through every vein all at once. And just like that, my smile was full of life and warmth, again.

Your fingertips brush against my arm, an innocent gesture given away by the intent in your eyes.

A touch and time is not a concept. A moment, a minute, an hour, then, now, for ever more-nothing everything.

A touch and you and I are a rushing primal force and each atom overflows with joy and calm. This is it- the meeting of silence and sound, of frenzy and stillness, control and abandon. This is the fleeting moment of eternity – or is it the eternity of this moment?

Words fail and our breath conveys, this perfection of your arms around me, your neck cradling my face.

This moment when we are free of analyzing, expressing, articulating. This moment when we realize, words are a prison – our entire being was meant to reach out and speak. This is the moment, when we are secure and relieved forever from the need to speak.

No words my love, for now, we KNOW each other.