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Sunday, January 2, 2011

GOD KNOWS

God is everywhere

I am god

Hunted, venerated

Celebrated,reviled

Taken for granted,forgotten

Never ever out of your mind

All roads lead to me

The question is

Do I really want to be found?

What is it I want?

Do I even know want?

Leave me alone

Leave yourself alone

Breathe, or don’t

Chaos silence indifference beauty

Too many words

Too many meanings

Again striving for expression in words.

Feel

And fat tomes will tell you

It is all illusion

Faith is the greatest

Then there is Love

All is one

Such high -faultin gibberish

at least i think so!

So I’ll go

tilting at philosophical windmills

till breath stops

and I still know

Nothing

or shall we be pompous?

a little bit of everything!

at the very least

a lot more than you ever will!


I’ll be back!

The hideous horror of it

The untainted joy!

To see,touch ,hear, smell and taste

Revel in any other labeled senses

Get intoxicated

in the sheer variety

Despair in the multitude of choices


Play like a kitten

with a ball of yarn

tangled

maybe get strangled!

Fear not

I have nine lives

And eternity

If not

Well, I did play

With greys and golds

Violet, indigo, blue, green, yellow, orange and red!

There you have it


You may come see me now!

My justifications are ready

Bring out the foolscap

And the ink

New sounding philosophies for old!

Dread me and be in awe

want me, pray to me

Then love me

Betray me


Me,me,me


When you tire

Turn out the light

Or switch it on

On off

Yes no

Within without

This that

And all in between

And around it!


I know, I know

God knows!!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

LOVE SONG

Mellifluous voices

The heart swells

With an ache

Threatening to swamp

The eyes.

Insidious workings

Of sincere sounding

Love songs

The grand romance

Felt deep within

Listened to

On this bed of faded flower prints

As eyes stare blankly

Into the dim streetlamp lit

Night

Potent with possibilities

Swirling with lush memories

Of crimson needs

Words and melody

which evoke images

Of a sensuous woman

Reclining on a silk settee.

The painter

Who sees

But would not step forward

To touch

The viewer

Who sees too

But cannot touch.

The mind

Applauds the creation

But the heart is strangely empty

Of warmth

Choking with envy

Wanting yet again

To reach

Perceived perfection.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Bittersweet

BITTER

This is the night when tradition meets need. Not desire-just a gnawing hunger that will not be denied any longer.

So let’s clear this bed of all the petals and the silly satin. What we satiate tonight is nothing sublime, nothing spiritual. Just a mind befuddling thirst.

Take off all the silk and gold-but put it away safely. We are in it for the long haul. Pickle it away for future needs.

Now…where were we? Ah yes! This cloying need to feel you against me-all over. just like we‘ve seen it done in movies.

Let’s make all the correct sounds and sighs and magnify the satisfaction felt by a few hundred degrees.

This is our first time!

Never thought it would be so…anticlimactic. But you are willing to wait and so am I. An entire lifetime of lying together- to each other with our entire being…

Wait-Till it is torn apart thread by worn out thread by the sheer mundane pace of everyday life.

When you are no longer my anyone-just another noise to be muted by silently doing our socially decreed duty to each other as lawfully wedded man and woman.


SWEET

This is the night when tradition ebbs and desires flow. Each sense floods the other’s domain and all divisions crumble.

All those days of waiting-of inquisitive fingers curling barely a second before they could touch you. Not tonight, not ever again.

So let’s clear this bed of flowers and the shimmering satin. Jasmine petals are rough, roses not crimson enough, dark chocolate on the bedside table-not rich enough- no, nothing compares to the texture of this touch.

Take off all this silk and gold – put away each trinket in slow, deliberate moves-all this, a slow sweet drawing out of these last few moments of waiting.

Remember my sweet, that moment earlier this evening, when so many reached out eagerly to wish us well? For a moment, I sagged, and the smile became fixed. An unnamed fear emptied my being of all sensation.

Then, you moved closer and entwined your fingers with mine – out of sight from all the flashing lights and smiles – hidden behind a wall of silk. A sharp intake of breath and then blood seemed to race through every vein all at once. And just like that, my smile was full of life and warmth, again.

Your fingertips brush against my arm, an innocent gesture given away by the intent in your eyes.

A touch and time is not a concept. A moment, a minute, an hour, then, now, for ever more-nothing everything.

A touch and you and I are a rushing primal force and each atom overflows with joy and calm. This is it- the meeting of silence and sound, of frenzy and stillness, control and abandon. This is the fleeting moment of eternity – or is it the eternity of this moment?

Words fail and our breath conveys, this perfection of your arms around me, your neck cradling my face.

This moment when we are free of analyzing, expressing, articulating. This moment when we realize, words are a prison – our entire being was meant to reach out and speak. This is the moment, when we are secure and relieved forever from the need to speak.

No words my love, for now, we KNOW each other.


Monday, November 16, 2009

Ecstacy

A tear, a drop

At the corner of the eye


Neither the precursor of a gush of passion

The stinging smoke of a slick oil wick set aflame

By a spark of an event experienced


Nor the mind’s reaction

To a tangled skein of emotions

Pulled at by a stray loose end


It is the twin of a smile sculpted

by a vibrating peace

within and beyond

chaos and harmony


The one perfect drop of excess

of a brimming soul

gently imprinted

by the winged lotus feet

of life divine.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Monotone

A shaft of white from a parted curtain,
Teardrop on an old pillow
Fingers made dark by night
Half a pillow away from you

My heart empties itself in tears
And strangles me.

Darkness muffles
Like a hag in a rough tattered blanket
Disheveled

Deep breaths as I lust
This unknown moment
Yielding, sighing and then still

Wet-with tears

A foolish hope
To be forever bathed in this moment
Wanting something, feeling nothing
A shadow soaked in rain

Sunrise
Tears stop

Sameness
Falls.

Wet Sand

All those happy moments
Beautiful sea shells,
Laid out in the soft wet sand,
by the first wave.
Dragged and crushed by the second.

Our footprints outlined
In petals

There by the wayside
Lies
The ravaged core,
tossed away,
Bruised and twisted
All that remains
After desperate fingers,
And a faithless heart,
Have plucked out,
All the tender petals,
On this path
To play
He loves me,
He loves me not.

That gleaming plaque of wood
Our names
Carved out.
Intricate care
Infinite patience,
Now rotting
Soft and blackened

A steady stream of tears

On soft wet sand.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Sunshine and Shadows/ Our friendship and our Ego

She says we never fight…
But could we ever…fight?
O Yes, we could…But we can’t…
For the price is too high.. or is it?
… and what would we fight about?
We understand each other so totally
She says we are the closest to being one…
Yes… so close… and yet… we never fight
For we have paid the price for closeness
And set ourselves far apart… no… not ourselves, not our heart, not our minds,
But that one thing that subtly threatens to tear us apart
- never obvious… but always there – like our shadow in the sunshine.

We seek the sunshine of laughter
And the moonshine contentment
So secure…yet the shadow remains.

Perhaps it is good… No, it IS good…
Let the shadow remain…for without them,
What proof do I have that we live? ... that there is sunshine and moonshine?...
Not just to heat us…but to shine upon us
…and to cast out that dark forbidden thing
…upon the floor… where it belongs… and NOT in our heart… and our minds
…Its talons ready to shred the precious fabric of our love.
…and so we dance…like skaters on thin ice…
Swooping each other in graceful circles
Our hearts filled with a fire warmer than love…that of trust…
On lookers say we can’t afford to miss a step…or step too hard…
The ice will break…but I know we won’t… miss a step… or a heartbeat…and so we dance…

I grow reckless…we swirl faster…does she too…yes, she does…
The ice creaks ecstatically…the cold water claws its way up our legs, our hearts, our neck, our lips…but I still have her hand in mine… and our eyes still glow warm…
We will get through this too… we will…
All our sunshine memories will warm us and all the moonshine shall cool the water into ice… and we shall dance again…
A much more tender, yet surer dance.

And when sunshine comes, we shall run after the colorful dreams of spring …TOGETHER…